Crawling toward Centralia

I'm writing this stuck on an Amtrak train outside Kelso, Washington. On my way from Portland to Seattle. I didn't want to leave Portland but I have to work in Seattle tomorrow. The Amtrak engineer just announced "Folks, as you gaze out the windows at the beautiful sunset of our magnificent Pacific Northwest, and imagine the pioneers when they first crossed these magnificent wildflower-covered prairies, trundling across them slowly in their covered wagons, please know that we at Amtrak aim to bring you the same historical experience AT THE SAME SPEED." Yes, there's been another "minor derailment" on the Seattle-Portland line and they're fixing the tracks. As we inch out of Kelso and toward Centralia, I'm now over two hours behind schedule and will miss the gig I'd hoped to play at in Seattle tonight.

What's going on with my Seattle/Portland life? Seattle has just been sinking its claws into me again and it's been unbelievably hard to tear free to get to Portland, WHICH IS WHERE I WANT TO BE. I moved to Portland Wednesday.... the real move, all my stuff and my bicycle and everything... and not 24 hours later had to get on a train and leave again. But money is money, and I used mine all up in Brazil, and the plain dollar truth is that my Portland job doesn't start till August 26 and meanwhile my Seattle jobs keep paying me. VamoLa keeps hiring me; and I'm locked in at the Seattle zoo every Friday and some Saturdays with the raptor program. I love the raptors but I'm terrifically frustrated every Friday by knowing I'm missing Portland's weekly pagode jam, a chance to learn from Amaro's beautiful pandeiro playing, missing a chance to play with Derek, missing a chance to play with Ned and all the others.... missing Donna's fabulous Friday and Saturday dance classes... and worst of all, MISSING LIONS REHEARSALS and MISSING LIONS GIGS. But there's no way around it. Every Lions rehearsal I go to costs me $60 in gas and six (or ten) hours in the car. (and that six, or ten, hours, translates to $300 in lost pay from NOAA.) While every VamoLa rehearsal nets me $75 cold cash. And every weekend in Seattle I get offered more gigs - 3 last weekend alone, my personal record. I finally earned my first $100 bill for samba....in Seattle.

The truth is I can't afford to be in Portland right now. But I hate feeling separated from the Lions. I've been so looking forward to playing with them. I made a special trip down, week before last, to go to their Monday rehearsal, only to find it had been cancelled. Then I had to miss last weekend too...(money again. I had $200 in gig offers Sat-Sun-Mon in Seattle; vs. the $60 it would have cost in gas to go to the Lions; and dammit, I just couldn't afford to go to the Lions.)

But it BITES! The Lions are training up some new leaders RIGHT NOW!!!! And I'd been wondering if I could be helpful with that. I am not really a good enough repique player, and the band is intimidating as hell, but I sure know how to cue groups through dance choreography - been doing that since 1993.

I have this weird sensation of a great opportunity slipping through my fingers - not the leading specifically, but just, hanging out with that caliber of players, missing a summer of Lions musicality. Already I can sense valued new friendships faltering because I haven't been giving them enough time.

I guess the simple truth is, I don't live in Portland yet....

Meanwhile I decided, I'll sink $150 into train tickets over the next ten days so that I can catch all four Lions rehearsals over the next two weekends. (well, two rehearsals & two sectionals) $35 per rehearsal. Every last rehearsal I can get to before I go to London. I'll take the train to Seattle just to work raptors, then take the next train right back down early the next morning. So here I am crawling toward Centralia.