Samba Gata Riot Grrlz

*News flash* Pink girls' drum group causes street riot

Traffic along Alberta Street in Portland, Oregon, was briefly shut down today by a near-riot at the 2nd public performance of Samba Gata, Portland's new all-girls' drum group. The all-girls' group caused reportedly the largest crowd that has ever assembled at the popular monthly Last Thursday street festival along Alberta Street. The Last Thursday event has nearly hipstered itself out of control recently. The event last week drew the largest crowd it has ever had, with the mysterious pink girls' group concentrating the crowd to near-breaking point.

The mysterious ladies, all of whom were dressed in hot pink and black, began their show outside a small pet store on the sidewalk. Sidewalk traffic quickly grew so intense that the caixa section had to squeeze around a parked moped in the parking lane and the surdos wedged themselves onto an unfortunate decorative plant. The crowd quickly became so thick that normal progression in any direction became impossible. Three cars were permanently stalled in traffic; it is unknown whether the motorists survived. The chaos caused some band disruption to the extent that it was not quite possible at first to tell what exactly they were trying to do, but it appeared to be some kind of loud, semi-rhythmic activity.

Due to the limited space, the band moved partway down one block to a slightly larger area, briefly losing one of its founding members when she made the mistake of thinking that the band was actually going to go to the place that they had said they were going to go.

At the second performance halfway down the block, the crowd doubled in size and again closed off the street. Several hundred eyewitnesses stated afterwards the girls were definitely 100% female. Several dozen male drummers took it upon themselves to verify this by staring intently at the hands of the female timbal section for the entire twenty-minute performance, and stated afterwards that the females' hands did appear to be moving in sync and playing an actual drum pattern, and even were playing it rather quickly and performing actual solos now and then. None of the male drummers can ever recall having seen a female drummer drumming without a nearby male. It is unknown how the mysterious pink girl drummers have managed to accomplish this unprecedented feat.

The crowd was so loud and intense that nobody could verify the name of the mysterious pink group. Several audience members tried to solve the mystery by grabbing at the arms of players, while they were playing, and yelling "WHO ARE YOU? WHERE DO YOU REHEARSE? CAN YOU PLAY FOR US NEXT MONTH?" However, for some odd reason, band members appeared unable to engage in full, detailed conversations while also playing at top volume.

The band reportedly made $43 in tips, which onlookers calculate should be enough for a beer for all band members.

Two male founding members of March Fourth were spotted in the crowd, including one who reportedly dressed himself in a pink feather boa and carried around a tip basket, WHEN HE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE A GIRLFRIEND IN THE BAND, an act of generosity that the band members all reported as "totally sweet."

An Alberta street resident reported afterwards that "the female energy was so intense that it was going all the way to the trees." The resident then whirled in circles and crashed into a nearby bong vendor's table.

A University of Portland biology major reported that his biology professor was among the pink drummers, but this report could not be confirmed.

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(I woke up the next morning out of a dream in which I was trying to have a shouted conversation in the place where we'd played our first [extremely messy] set, but painted bicycles and mobs of people kept whirring past me and pushing me into the parked cars. And yes, one of my students spotted me. Outed!)